


Interlude 1 - First Time's The Charm

by stgjr



Series: "The Power of a Name" Series 3 - "Time Lord Penitent" [16]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Multi-Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Multiple Crossovers, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 22:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11090955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stgjr/pseuds/stgjr
Summary: Our narrator meets a familiar face in pre-Brutha Omnia





	Interlude 1 - First Time's The Charm

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on February 23rd, 2015.

Not all of my adventures are relevant to my story as a whole, which is why I usually skip them (well, unless they're amusing or unique in some way). A short time after I faced down the Great Intelligence in Arendelle, I had one such adventure that is of some relevance given what I've gone through.  
  
It involved a lot of running.  
  
But not at first. No, at first I simply materialized in the TARDIS on one of my favorite locales; the Discworld. Unfortunately, instead of materializing during the time of the Morporkian Empire so I could introduce _pai sho_ to Tacticus after our chess match (long story), I found myself in a particular citadel in the Klatchian desert. I looked out a wide-open courtyard where three stakes had been prepared, a caged figure dangling from each, and small fires already burning at the base of each stake.  
  
I sighed. Pre-Bruthan Omnians. A witch burning.  
  
After lamenting my TARDIS' love of dropping me into tricky situations - and locking it to be safe - I looked out at the stunned crowd. "Alright, let's just pretend that I said I've been sent by Om and that he wants you lot to stop this, and that you accused me of..."  
  
" _Heresy!_ ," shrieked a robed priest of Om.  
  
"....yes, that," I continued. "And now we can..." I whipped out the sonic disruptor and stopped several arrows from hitting me as I advanced on the burning stakes and cages. "Oi! You lot are so impolite! Now, as I was saying..." I held up the disruptor and put it to Setting 4HD. Powerful kinetic forces erupted outward and battered the flames until they died down. With my sonic screwdriver I unlocked the cages. Two of the women were middle-aged, spinsters most likely, accused because of superstition and foolishness instead of being witches (I've seen Discworld witches, these ladies didn't fit that). They jumped out under their own power and the rest of the crowd was too stunned to stop them from fleeing.  
  
The last was a young woman with dark hair. I felt power thrumming around her as I extended a hand and helped her up. She had a nasty looking bump on her forehead. Age-wise, she looked little older than twenty-five. Maybe a very young-looking thirty. "Alright there, steady," I said.  
  
The priests seemed to regain their composure, which meant that at their command the guards regained enough composure to want to put arrows into us. I pulled the wobbly-legged woman along while my other arm held up the sonic disruptor, fleeing through the nearest door into the halls of the citadel. Tromping boots in the distance told me we had pursuers, so I kept running.  
  
"Wait... wait!" The young woman pulled at me. I turned back as she protested, "We need to find my..."  
  
Our eyes met and we took in each others faces. She didn't recognize me of course. But I... oh yes, I did. Mentally I added a few age wrinkles and turned the hair completely white. " _Esk_?", I blurted out.  
  
Eskarina Smith blinked. "You know my name?", she asked.  
  
"Well, of course I..." I stopped. "Oh. Oh, this is rather awkward."  
  
"Who are you?!" she demanded. "Why aren't you dressed properly as a wizard?!"  
  
"I only do that for university occasions," I replied flippantly. "As for who I am.... I am the Doctor _and we need to start running again_." I added emphasis to those words as guards rounded the far corner with swords drawn. I grabbed young Esk's hand and pulled her along. "What in the bloody hell are you doing back here?!"  
  
"I was testing a theory of Simon's," she answered. "About..."  
  
"....directed application of dimensional shift to cause time travel?" I finished for her.  
  
"Yes." She huffed as we rounded another corridor. "But instead of Imperial Morporkia I wound up here!"  
  
"Space-time calculations can be off," I said from experience. "Now... oi, watch it!" I barely got the disruptor up in time to absorb a sword blow from a guard who came around the corner. I sidestepped him and Esk swung a foot out that tripped him. "We need a quiet spot, I'll get us out of here."  
  
"I need my staff!", she shouted. "They took it after I was knocked out!"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"I'm not...." She pulled and forced me to stop. For a moment Esk concentrated. She grabbed my wrist. "Follow me!"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Now it was Esk pulling me along as we ran through the Citadel. We came out through a courtyard garden that was occupied by a number of young ladies who were in states of undress or entirely in the garden pools. They screamed in surprise as we raced along the pathways. It was a rather eye-opening experience. Cloisters usually are like that.  
  
Oh, don't look at me like that. And get your minds out of the gutter. Ever hear "Cleanliness is next to Godliness"? Apparently the Omnians had, and in a desert citadel bathing is done where you can do it.  
  
We finished cutting through what was obviously a cloister and burst through the kitchens, guards converging on all sides. I deflected several arrows with the sonic disruptor. Esk dealt with the front with what I imagined was a magic defense shield of some sort. Even without her staff, she apparently had some magic.  
  
Finally we came to a storeroom of sorts. All sorts of trinkets abounded. Statues of gods venerated in Ephebe and Tsort and Klatch proper, mostly. I looked at a sign by the door. "Items of Profanity". "How quaint," I murmured.  
  
Esk let go of my hand and went to a side pile of wooden totems and the like. "It's in here somewhere," she growled, throwing totems out of the way. I had to move to avoid them and I still ended up catching a particularly... uh... lewd-looking totem. "Muntab mating totem," I murmured. "Hrm. I wonder if Glyph would be...."  
  
Guards burst through the door. I turned and brought the sonic disruptor up again while a bunch of nasty pointy things came within feet of my person. I'm not really comfortable with such. Esk seemed oblivious to this as she continued hunting through the pile of wooden things.  
  
A richly-robed figure entered, heavyset and covered in what a 21st Century Earther would euphemistically call "bling". I didn't recognize him, but I imagined his office. "If you cooperate," he said, "we will commend your soul to Om quickly."  
  
In other words, we wouldn't be tortured.  
  
"The head of the Quisition, I see," I said. "Sorry, I'll have to pass. Om and I have something of an understanding on the subject of my soul."  
  
"Blasphemer, you are trapped in the heart of Om's sacred temple, with thousands of his loyal followers about you," the man replied. "Speaking ill of the Great God Om is madness, and to resist is folly."  
  
"Eh, I've been in worse," I retorted. "Now, I'll give you a counter offer. My friend here is a wizard. Leave us alone and she won't turn you into newts."  
  
At that the men started laughing. "What do you take us for?", the head of the Quisition cackled. "We know that among the infidels, only men can be wizards."  
  
"Normally, yes, but my friend's a special case," I countered. "So why don't you lot move along before she makes asses of you. Literally."  
  
There was more laughter. "Take them!", the head of the Quisition shouted. "Take them..."  
  
There was a surge of energy, a flash of light... and I faced a small horse covered in the robes of the Quisition's leader.  
  
The armed men backed away.  
  
I turned my head back slightly to face Esk, who had pulled her staff out. There was, of course, no knob on the end. "A pony?", I asked.  
  
"I was going for an ass," she answered. "Still getting control down. At least the knob isn't interfering anymore."  
  
"Right." I looked back to the stunned guards. "Well, if anyone here wants to avoid being a pony, i suggest you run."  
  
They ran, screaming to Om for protection. The horse looked at them indignantly and then us.  
  
"As for you, I'm half-tempted to drop you on a more fitting planet for your new form just to learn some lessons, but I wouldn't inflict your kind on them," I continued. "So..." I held out my TARDIS remote and summoned the TARDIS to the room. Esk stared as it VWORPed in. "We'll turn you back when we leave." I looked back at Esk again. "We will, right?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
The horse neighed a protest. I think it was a protest. And then it looked around like it was utterly lost.  
  
Esk, meanwhile, was staring at the TARDIS with wonderment. "What is this?", she asked.  
  
"Oh, my TARDIS," i answered. "Let's try this again, shall we? Come inside." We stepped inside. "I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord from Gallifrey."  
  
Before I could spell out what TARDIS stood for and explain it, Esk spoke. "A pocket dimension? Astounding. Simon will love seeing it."  
  
"And I'll love showing it to him," I answered. I snapped my fingers and the door closed. "So, why don't we go see him?"  
  
She looked at me. "This can move through time?"  
  
"Oh yes," I said. "Although sometimes she likes to take me somewhere unexpected. Usually it's for the best." I went up to the controls. I let myself smile at realizing what this meant. This was, for Esk, our first meeting. "So, back to Unseen University in your time?"  
  
"I would appreciate the ride, yes," Esk said. "And some time to talk. This TARDIS of yours is astounding."  
  
"You'll get used to seeing it a lot."  
  
"I will?" she asked. "What do you mean?"  
  
I looked back at her as I settled my hand on the lever. A grin crossed my face. "The answer to that, my dear Esk..." I leaned in toward her. "...can be summed up in one word."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes." I winked. " _Spoilers._ "  
  
With that said, I pulled the lever to return her to her own time.  
  
That was how Eskarina Smith first met me. It was, for her, the beginning of a long and complicated relationship, the kind you get between two time travelers.  
  
And I wouldn't have missed it for all the cosmoses of the Multiverse.

**Author's Note:**

> The Interludes were done as warm-ups to the second arc of Series 3, although the next one was actually intended as the opening of Episode 25, just for me to realize it was too long to really work like that. This story and the next are the only "Interludes" in the entire storyline.


End file.
